What Hides in My Depths
by rippedattheseams
Summary: what's locked up inside is meant to be free


this gives you background for what's to come in the rest of my story. o.. and i don't own raven or anybody in teen titans. it's sad really... some sentences i borrowed from my other sentences os if u read some of my other stuff and a couple lines sound similar... don't worry ur not going insane, ... yet

**Intro**

Cold sweat glistened on her skin, with the cool moonlight breeze passing through the walls and surrounding her body. Her face twisted in shear pain, hidden in her hands, like those hands could block out the world. Images flooding into her mind. All of everything, too much all at once. So much pain, so much grief, so much sadness… they scratched themselves into her memory. 'Why won't they go away. These dreams, no, not dreams, nightmares should just be forgotten memories by now so why do they still haunt me. Every time I close my eyes, even for just a moment, the darkness of my closed eyelids plays my nightmares, over and over and over again. I just want it to go away, all of it, just to be erased forever. I just want to be left alone…. so alone.'

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She stood up, ready to leave since her doctor's appointment was over for the day.

The guards came back into the room, grabbing her by the shoulders and forcefully leading her back to her quarters. As soon as they got to her room, one of the guards pulled out his ring of keys. Picking one, he unlocked the cell door, and after walking about a foot into the room, hastily took of her cuffs, slamming the door on his way out. A click noise could have been heard meaning that the door had locked, as usual.

The room was about eight by six feet with only a only mattress and a grayish colored blanket and pillow on the right and a small window not more than two feet in length and width on the far wall. It was useless to try and look through the window though because it was as clean as mud. One could make the guess that it's never been cleaned since the day it was made, all covered in dust and dirt. The room itself was gray and very poorly lit because the bright light hurts her eyes.

Walking over towards the bed, the girl laid down, pulling out a pencil and paper. She was a mute and when she was assigned to this place, the doctor told her to write down her thoughts and during every daily meeting, the doctor would read them.

She hated this place. Ever since she was eight and was forced to come here, she had hated it. By now she was sixteen, having spent half of her life locked away in this room. She was very pale in skin color and under weight. Her hair was a dull ebony color that reached past her waist with gray-blue stormy colored eyes hidden beneath her bangs that never showed much emotion.

The pencil and paper was pushed off onto the floor next to her bed, forgotten for the moment. Her stomach groaned in argument for food but her body felt to heavy to even lift a finger. Her body began to shut down. As her heartbeat steadied and eyes began to close shut, all those images came rushing back into her head, replaying the same images as they have been for the last eight years. As a single tear escaped from her closed eyelids, she mouthed two words, only two, then slipping into any uneasy slumber.

'Save Me'

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The nurse came into the doctor's office only to see the doctor at his desk, staring sympathetically at a patient's file. "What's wrong doctor?"

"Raven, that girl has been here since she was a mere child but her condition hasn't improved at all. She still wakes up in the middle of the night with severe nightmares, and during the day, never speaks a word. She seems to be getting worse over time no matter what I do."

The nurse nods her head in agreement with sadness evident in her eyes. Shutting the door behind her, she leaves the doctor alone to his thoughts.

During this whole time, the doctor still refuses to look up from the file. Mumbling under his breath so not even the most acute pair of ears could hear… "How can parents do that to there own daughter."

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She reached to the darkness, blood soaking her bed sheets from the wound now existing over her back as her father left, probably to drink more as that was all he ever did. The steady rain hit her windows yet she heard nothing. Closing her eyes, she allowed darkness to consume her mind. Everything went quiet, as the child of only eight, fell asleep. As soon as she opened her eyes though, pain hit her body full force. The wound on her back had stopped bleeding but it felt worse than the night before. The blood had dried and cracked on her small frame with the sheets almost red from all the blood that she had lost. She looked around and noticed the rain for the first time and the sound of the rain was the only noise to be heard in the house. Crawling into the corner, she began to let the tears fall from her clouded eyes that she had kept locked up for so long. Her vision began to blur and she slipped into an uneasy sleep. As her last tear fell from her eyes, only one thought was in her mind… 'Why do I even exist?

Her body shook violently, gasps echoed through the emptiness of the room as her lungs screamed for oxygen. Putting her head between her knees, she rocked herself back and forth on the stiff mattress. 'It was just a dream, just a dream' she kept repeating over and over again, reassuring herself and at the same time calming her nerves. Sweat clenched to her body making her skin glisten from the shimmers of light the bulb on the ceiling gave as it flickered on and off. ' It was just a dream.'

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Footsteps could be heard from the inside of her room. She had been up for about three hours since sleep was something she couldn't find after that _dream_. The rattle of keys could be heard from the entrance to the room. As the rattling stopped, the clicking noise resounded throughout the room. As the door opened, a fairly large guard stepped in carrying cuffs. He wore all white clothing with a nightstick to the left of his waist and the ring of keys to his right, next to his tranquilizer gun that was fully loaded and ready to go. The cuffs were quickly fastened onto her wrists as she was moved outside of her room and down a long and narrow hallway, stopping in front of two huge double doors.

"Breakfast time Raven." was all the guard said before pushing the girl through to large white double doors as the smell of bagels and eggs assaulted her nose full force. That _dream_ had made her forget all about how hungry she was as her stomach agreed with a loud rumble. After having the cuffs removed, she walked straight to the bagels. Grabbing a plain one, she sat down in a chair off to the side of the room.

The room itself was the largest one in the whole building. Everything in the room was made of plastic and unbreakable glass like the rest of the building since some of the occupants in the building were here for suicidal reasons. Those occupants were surveyed more closely than all the others. There were also drug addicts, alcohol maniacs, abusers, and the abused that stayed here. Almost all occupants kept to themselves during there stay though.

She finished her bagel while watching everybody out of the corner of her eye. 'Nothing out of the ordinary, just like every single day here.' Nothing ever happened in this place unscheduled. Everyone's day was the exact same as her's; wake up, go eat breakfast, go to your appointment with the doctor, go eat diner, then go to sleep. Of course you could watch TV or read but besides that, there was nothing you could do. Not one of the residents were allowed to leave the building unless told they could which only happens you were released.

She went back to one of the guards at the doors and was transported, in cuffs, back to her cell. It was so quiet that it made you think that your eardrums died but it was that same quietness that made her relax. In her mind, if it was quiet, it was safe. She looked around and found her pad of paper and pencil next to her mattress. Grabbing the pencil in hand, she began to write for her doctor's appointment that was in an hour, give or take a couple of minutes. The world blocked out of mind with the only thing she could see was that pad of paper and the darkness engulfing her body and everything around her. The words just floated onto the paper as she relived that _dream_. Every time she wrote, her dreams would turn into poems. The doctor was the only one who ever cared what she thought and dreamed. He said he wanted her to share her pain with him, then he could help ease her suffering but the _dreams_ still came. They still existed in her head, still tormenting her no matter where she was, they were always with her, and will be… _forever_.

…

One question kept coming back to mind 'Why me?'

"Because your special." Came the answer from behind the girl, startling her enough to visible jump, dropping her paper and pencil that she was holding. Turning her head slightly enough to see behind her, her eyes became captivated by the beauty that stood mere feet from her.

A man, no, an angel, in his early twenties' stood with perfect posture, wearing incredibly pure white robes made of cloth with two feathery wings extending outward from his back reaching for the heavens. His silky silver hair shined from an invisible light emitting from his body, which hovered about a foot of the floor, with his face in the most softest of expressions.

He glided toward her taking her hand into his and bowed. Her hand began to shine with his light that spread down the rest of her arm to her shoulder, then all the rest of her body, making her glow along with him, in heavenly light. There was a quick gust of wind that come from out of nowhere and in a singe moment, she was somewhere she had only seen in fairy tales.

There was an immense amount of light shining off anything and everything. Church style building stood everywhere, all white, all seeming peaceful. Looking down, she was shocked to see she too was floating like he who stood next to her, with his hand still holding her own. She then saw that the buildings were not on the ground like any normal place but on clouds as white and soft as snow. 'Where am I'?

"Heaven" came the angel's gentle voice. "One day you will come here to stay forever." After a moment's pause, he spoke again "You live your life caged. Locked away in misery and fear, making you vulnerable to all the pain in your past, but the past has already happened and there is nothing you can do to change it. I watch you night after night wake up screaming and crying. I see the pain in your eyes as you remember your father and the loneliness as you can't remember your mother. You need to start looking toward your future. One day you will find the voice to speak. Those words will set you free from your cage, and freedom _is_ power".

Her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. He was right, there was nothing she could do to change her past.

A humming noise filled her ears, making her loose her train of thought. The melody sounded so familiar to her, like she had heard it many times. 'Where have I heard this before?' Closing her eyes, an image came into mind. A woman, young, with a gentle smile, she was singing the song to her as a baby. The words to the song came into her head as the angel continued to hum the melody. Then it dawned her, the woman wasn't just any woman… it was her mother.

Opening her eyes, she realized she was no longer in heaven, but back in her cell. The melody kept playing in her mind, the angel's words had made great impact on her. She was only in pain because she let the past get to her, blinding her from a future filled with freedom and happiness.

A click noise was heard as a guard came, with cuffs, to take her to her appointment with the doctor. Quickly fastening on the cuffs, they headed in the direction of the doctor's office. In five minutes, she was in his office with he, the doctor himself, at the other end of the room reading her poem she had written earlier.

After finishing, he looked up at her with eyes full of concern. "Why won't you talk to me? I read these poems everyday, all filled with such agony yet you won't even let me help you. Don't you want to be happy? Don't you want to leave this place? Don't you want to live your own life? Don't you want to be _free_?"

She looked straight at him, her eyes unblinking. The angel's words were still fresh in mind. The melody was in her head, playing along with the words her mother used to sing to her before she abandon her, leaving her with her father forever. She wanted to forget them. She wanted to live a life without sadness. She wanted to be _free_.

She opened her mouth, and to the doctor's surprise, she whispered something so soft and gentle it could barely be heard…"Sing me something soft, sad and delicate, or loud and out of key. Sing me anything." For the first time in eight years, she spoke, using the words her mother sung to her as a baby.

'_I'm free.'_

well, i gtg and feed my tummy. it demands food. The rest of the story will revolve around raven leaving the insane isolem and meeting the world, and teen titans. O she doesn't figure out she has powers till later in case ur wonderin. Ok peace out my home slices.


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